How to respond if you discover sexual
exploitation
If
you learn that your child or teen has been sexually exploited it
brings up a range of emotions but if the child is present, it is
important that you stay calm. Let children and teens know you believe
them, that you will protect them, and reassure them that the abuse
was not their fault.
Harborview
Medical Center’s Center for Sexual Assault and Traumatic
Stress, located
in Seattle, provides an excellent and comprehensive resource for
abuse victims and their families. They prepared the following list
for parents titled What
to do if your child has been sexually abused:
Stay calm. Fear and anger are
normal reactions, but they can frighten the child. Be sure not to
blame, punish, or embarrass the child.
Believe your child. It is rare
for a child to lie about sexual abuse. Many children who report
abuse are not believed. Do not deny or ignore what your child is
telling you.
Listen to your child. Take
your child to a private place and let them tell you what happened in
his or her own words. Give your child your full attention.
Reassure your child that it wasn’t
their fault. Assure them that you are glad he or she told you.
Give positive messages such as, “I know it’s not your
fault”, or “I’m glad you told.” Be sure to
let your child know they are not to blame.
Protect your child immediately
from the suspected abuser. Reassure the child that he or she is
safe.
Report the
suspected abuse immediately
to Child Protective Services and/or your local law enforcement
agency.
Don’t confront the offender
in your child’s presence. In fact, it is probably best to
let the proper authorities confront the offender.
Seek professional help for your
child and your family. This includes medical attention as
needed, child protective services, and a counselor trained in
treating sexual abuse.)
Respect your child’s
privacy. Be careful not to discuss the abuse in front of people
who do not need to know what happened.
Let your child talk about it at
his or her own pace. Don’t pressure you child into talking
about the abuse. Forcing information can be harmful and you are not
trained to interview a child victim. On the other hand, do not try
to silence your child. Allow your child to talk, as they need to.
Allow your child to express his or
her feelings but keep your own feelings about the abuse separate.
Your child may have feelings about the abuse and the offender
that are different from yours.
Try to resume a “normal”
as life as possible. Protect your child, but don’t make
him or feel different or isolated.
Don’t dismiss your child’s
feelings by telling them to “forget about it”. You
and your child will both need time to work through all the feelings
and changes, especially if the offender is someone in the family.
The time it takes for a child to heal varies, depending upon the
child as well as the circumstances of the sexual assault (such as
who the offender is, how long the abuse continued, whether or not
threats, bribes, or force was used, and the type of abuse).
Seek help for yourself. Parents
often feel angry, guilty, or to blame when they learn their child
has been sexually assaulted. Talk to someone you trust, or call a
counselor who will be able to help you.
