Overcoming
your hesitation to report sexual assault and get help
A
number of factors may make it difficult for a victim/survivor to
identify her or his experience as a victim of sexual assault and to
seek assistance. George
Mason University Sexual Assault Services
is another excellent resource for abuse victims and their families.
Among their resources is this reasons
people don't report sexual abuse:
Confusion
and Denial. First, there may be confusion about what the
victim/survivor has experienced, especially if the assault took
place in the context of a freely chosen social or romantic/sexual
interaction. The victim may simply be unwilling or unable to believe
that someone she or he knows and trusts would betray her/him in this
manner.
Shame
and Self-Blame. Many survivors do not tell anyone about their
experience or get medical and legal assistance because they feel
guilty and ashamed. There is a strong tendency to self-blame that is
often reinforced by the perpetrator’s manipulation, along with
societal myths about rape and female sexuality.
Stigma
and Fear of Re-Victimization. Unfortunately rape survivors who
disclose their experience may be blamed and stigmatized by family,
friends, medical personnel, the legal system, and the media. Thus,
there may be some reality in the survivor’s reluctance to seek
help and /or report a sexual assault.
Fear
of Losing Control. When a person is sexually assaulted, she or he is
robbed of the control that is so critical to our psychological
well-being. Many victims are afraid that seeking help or reporting
an assault will lead to further loss of control, i.e., losing the
right to make decisions for oneself, being identified by others only
as a “rape victim” and losing one’s other roles
and identities, losing one’s privacy and anonymity within the
campus community.
Not
Knowing the Options. Many survivors are unclear about what recourse
they have following a sexual assault. They may have stereotyped or
unrealistic ideas about what they must endure if they report the
assault and/or seek medical attention or counseling. For example,
they might believe that if they report the matter to the university,
they must go the police and press criminal charges against the
perpetrator. Also, if it is too late for medical or police
intervention, the victim/survivor may not realize that s/he can
always seek help for the emotional consequence of an assault.
Fear
of the Perpetrator. Many survivors continue to fear the
perpetrator(s) who have raped them. Unless a restraining order is
obtained, there may be nothing to prevent the perpetrator being a
further threat to the victim. Survivors may be harassed,
intimidated, or assaulted again by perpetrator or his friends. A
local women’s shelter, a church group, support group, abuse
center, or law enforcement can sometimes be of assistance to the
survivor in keeping the perpetrator away and/or helping her find new
accommodations where she will feel more secure.
Sexual
assault is traumatic for the victim, both physically and
emotionally. Many times, sexual assault committed by a date or
acquaintance can be more devastating for the victim than if the
assault had been committed by a stranger since the victim’s
trust in others and in her own judgment can be seriously impaired.
Thus, the emotional or psychological damage is usually severe, if
not more so than the physical injury that may result. Victims are
often left feeling:
Powerless
Vulnerable
Violated
Humiliated
Furthermore,
the victim’s ability to function in various areas of life may
be hampered after the assault.
