Sending and receiving instant messages (IM)

Instant messaging (IM) used to be referred to as real-time e-mail. It used to only be synchronous, meaning that two (or more) parties communicate in real time, without any delay. IM programs now let you create a message that is held until the recipient(s) next comes online.

Today you can use IM to text, talk as if you were on the phone, send photos, videos, and other files, see participants via webcams, and get and send e-mail. Some IM services also allow you to search the Web, find others using Global Positioning System (GPS) technology, listen to music, watch videos, play games, bid on auctions, and more.

IM can be sent from a computer to a mobile phone or from a mobile phone to another mobile phone. If you have included your mobile phone number as part of your IM profile, then anyone who can see your profile will be able to view it. This is valuable information for a predator, so it is important to consider whether you want your number exposed, especially if there are many people on your contact list you do not personally know.  Teens often have a broader set of IM 'friends' they have never met, so it is important to discuss the safety of displaying their phone numbers with them.

Ten safety tips for instant messaging

1. Choose a safe screen name that doesn't give away personal information.

2. Understand that IM is not a secure communication channel so you should not share sensitive personal information when you use instant messaging.

   • Never share passwords, social security number, credit card information, and the like.

   • Be careful about the information you show in your status bar. Avoid showing emotional vulnerabilities to people you don't know well, or saying you're on vacation, etc. as these can be useful pieces of information to people who want to exploit or steal. Most services allow you to keep your online status private, so you simply appear to be offline.

3. Consider who you want to use IM with. You create ‘buddy lists’ in instant messaging programs and enter the online addresses of people with whom you want to exchange instant messages. Most services allow you to block messages from anyone not on your buddy list. Most adults know everybody on their buddy list, but this isn’t the case for teens who may be less selective. Often one-third of a teen’s buddies may be people they’ve never met. Remember: a friend of a friend is often a stranger.

4. Sending photos, documents, and links in IM is an easy and convenient way to share with others. However, you should think twice before you open attachments or click links in instant messages unless you know the sender and are communicating with that person at the time, or are expecting the material. Links or attachments sent out of context may indicate that the sender’s IM has been infected with a virus.

5. If anyone sends you inappropriate material, report it. If you need to document the material, don't shut down the computer; instead minimize the application or turn off the monitor and seek advice on how to report the occurrence. Inform your ISP and the police, if appropriate. NOTE: if the material is illegal content – like child pornography - downloading or continuing to view this for ANY reason is illegal.

6. Be cautious about meeting someone you only know through IM in person.
   If you decide to meet someone, never go alone, meet in a busy public place, make sure others know where you're going and when to expect to hear from you. Always have your cell phone handy.

7. Think about how to use the IM features safely. For example, some IM games may contain mature material, and you may want to limit voice and video interactions with people you haven't met. Kids should be advised to never give their online friends remote access to their computer via IM.

8. Consider what you're saying and sharing in IM and how you would feel if the information was made public. Anything you say in IM can be forwarded to others. If you are at work it can be monitored by your employer.

9. Report harassment or bullying to your service provider. As in real life, this is unacceptable behavior and in some cases can be illegal. Every service should have a clearly visible Report Abuse function; if it doesn't consider switching providers. If you feel physically threatened, contact your local law enforcement agency immediately.

Protect children using instant messaging

Here are some tips to help keep younger children and teens safer when they use instant messaging:

• For younger children, use a service that allows you to limit your child's contacts so they can only send IM to people you both know and monitor who they're talking to.

• Have a discussion with teens about who they communicate with and what they talk about. Set boundaries that match your family's values and their age, reassessing these boundaries periodically as they mature.

• Caution them not to list their IM names publicly, or respond to IM from someone they don't know personally. In your instant messaging program look for options to set your profile as private, and manage who is allowed to send you instant messages.

• ‘Friends of friends’, or social networking, is all about connecting people with common interests. Limiting access to your information is harder using this approach and tracking or stalking you is far easier. Approving someone to be a friend may give that person far-reaching access to information, one of the real concerns about adding strangers to your buddy list or social networking list.